Zen and Spaghetti

Each week in my pre-natal yoga class, we have to go around and introduce ourselves at the beginning and say how far along we are and how we are feeling. "Hi, I'm June, I am 30 weeks. Yay. I am doing great and so excited about the miracle growing in my belly." I am so not sitting next to June next class. "Hi, I'm Stacy, I'm 19 weeks along. I'm feeling so much better now that I don't feel like I have to hurl every five minutes, but my back hurts, I can't figure out how to bend over and get back up again in one motion and my body doesn't seem to realize that humans should eat full three meals a day, not five. Plus tons of ice cream when I am lactose intolerant."

The teacher ignored the rest of my comments, but gleefully informed me that I am almost halfway along. AHHHHHHH! I've been pretty unfazed by all of this so far, but realizing this is almost halfway over already was a little daunting. That was so not cool to remind me of that when I am at yoga to try and I don't know, relax.

I finally did relax toward the end of the class, especially when it came time for my favorite part, which is the meditation. We lay down on blankets with our head on a bolster and a pillow between our knees. The lights are dim, soothing Buddha music plays - it's quite nice. The teacher gives us these affirmations to put fear aside of our birth, etc. It's a little creepy, but I still feel bad that I ignore these affirmations. Why? Because while I should be meditating, calming my mind and thinking about welcoming my baby, all I can can think about is food. What am I going to eat for my second dinner tonight? Ooooh, what if I add chives to my pasta sauce next time I make it? Somewhere in the background is a calming voice saying "...something, something, please your baby..." and all I hear is "cheese and gravy." I don't even eat gravy. Then the lights go back on, and I wonder how the meditation part is over so quickly.