Let Me Feel Your Body Talk

The month five chapter of my pregnancy book explains that this is the time when you really show, and pregnant women should no longer be the recipient of the "is she pregnant or is she getting fat looks." The book continues: "Most will begin to flaunt their showing body and take on a proud and pregnant pose." Then it suggests that you can really show off your pregnant belly by wearing a leotard.

Ok. Where do I even BEGIN with this one? Let's start with the copyright date. It's 1997, not 1982. Leotards, really? One of the authors is a man, albeit a clueless one, so we'll let it go. Perhaps he watches a lot of VH1 classic and they really do play the Olivia Newton John Let's Get Physical Video quite often. However, the co-author is a woman. I'm sorry, but she should know better. Was she never traumatized by dance recital costumes? She apparently never had to wear a black fringed leotard with pink sequins or a metallic silver unitard with electric blue trunks in front of people. Or perhaps she did and was warped enough to enjoy it. News flash, woman. Leotards don't look good on ANYONE. They are the thong speedos of women's wear.

Now I have the song Let's Get Physical in my head. Damn it.