Don't Ask and You Still Shall Receive

Not only are strangers oversharing with me now that I am visibly pregnant, but are also pouring on the unsolicited advice. Now I welcome the advice from my friends, but not necessarily the guy behind the deli counter at the supermarket, the woman in line in front of me at the tea house and especially not the weirdo that sat in the seat behind me on the plane the other day. This random man, after asking all the usual questions (see post below) felt the need to share the wisdom of his friend's doctor. He told me that if the baby can't sleep, he is probably cold and I should put gloves on him. Hmmm. Alrighty. No sooner did I take my seat before I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, which is no easy feat when my abdomen is completely squished by my fetus as are the rest of my insides. "I have another piece of advice," he said. I raised my eyebrows and he continued, "if the baby gets fussy, you should chop up some garlic and put it in his formula." I see. I smiled and nodded my head, not really having the energy to give the reply that was really in my head. What ass-backward planet is his "friend's doctor" from??? Oy.

Holy Boobs Batman

My boobs have completely taken over the planet. Not all sexy, Baywatch - Pamela Anderson-ish ,but in a National Geographic sort of way. I went bra shopping for the second time during my pregnancy and am now wearing a cup size I thought was only reserved for failing grades. No wonder why my back is killing me. I am surprised I do not tip over when I walk. I've been consistently warned that they will only get bigger once I start nursing. How far down the alphabet can I possibly go??? Make them stop! I think if my doctor tells me again that I am gaining too much weight (yes he really did say that to a hormonal pregnant woman), I am going to have him weigh each of my boobs.

TMI People!!!

So my husband turns to me the other day and says "your stomach is finally bigger than your boobs!" So, yes, I am at the stage where I am visibly pregnant and no longer getting the "is she pregnant or did she eat too much ice cream" looks from strangers. Instead, random people feel the need to discuss my pregnancy with me. The conversation always covers the following three topics, in this order:

-Do you know what you are having? Yes, its a boy.
-Have you picked out a name? No. (and if we did I wouldn't tell you anyways).
-When I/my sister/daughter/cousin/friend went into labor...(insert horror story)...

Ok, what on earth makes you think I want to hear this? Why, oh why, would you Mr. or Ms. Random Stranger, feel the need to tell me the gory, intimate details of a traumatic labor? That would be like someone telling me they are about to have surgery, and I go ahead and tell them the story about how last time I had surgery I woke up in the middle and heard the doctor yell "scalpel!" Not cool, man!