Sunday, April 13, 2008

Paint Your Episiotomy

I've been trying all sorts of techniques to conquer my fears of labor, because we all know I am oh so stoic with pain, hospitals and the like. Guided imagery therapy, hypnobirthing, meditation- in my true fashion, I'm trying everything. My latest is a super crunchy natural birthing book I picked up at the suggestion of a few people in my yoga class. I appreciate the concept and thought I would dig this book, until it devoted three chapters on discovering your fears through birth art. The idea is to strengthen your conscious awareness and identify obstacles and inhibitions through art that may be "as raw and spontaneous as birth itself. " The book suggests that you take your art materials, such as pastels, sculpting tools and clay (already jumping to the conclusion that those of us that don't have artistic abilities beyond drawing happy faces actually own this stuff or would know what to do with it if we did) and creatively express yourself through drawing, painting and even dance. Suggested topics include "a womb with a view," "drawing on your animal" and "the opening." I see. Well, not really, but I digress. Upon sharing this with my best friend, her reply was, "what are you supposed to do, paint an episiotomy?" Apparently. How that is supposed to help, I have yet to figure out. And what are you supposed to do with that art? Hang it on your fridge next to your grocery list?

I think I am missing something.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

London Bridges

Why is it that maternity pants keep falling down? I have surveyed other pregnant friends and apparently I am not the only one with this problem. I understand that they have to be stretchy, but haven't we advanced enough with technology to figure out how to design pants that stay up? I enjoy walking around with one hand yanking up my waistband all day like the messy kid in kindergarten. Really I do.